I get so many confused looks and responses when people discover that we have opted NOT to find out the sex of our soon-to-be second child (nor did we find out the sex with our firstborn). I just read a post from a fellow blogger going through the same issue in her pregnancy, which prompted me to give my two-cents!
I think that folks need to realize that it is not vital to know the sex of the baby. Sure, it's nice to know, if that's what you like. But remember - you can still decorate a nursery, you can still purchase baby gear, you can even get some gender-neutral sleepers/onesies to last you for the first few months - all without knowing the sex of the baby. People didn't use to even have the option of finding out the sex and somehow we all made it through infancy clothed and taken care of!
Here are the most common questions/comments/etc. that I've gotten and my responses:
"How in the world can you stand to not find out?"
My Answer - We just made a commitment and stuck to it. I like to think of it as a fun challenge. Sure some days I think, "Gosh, I wish I knew if it was a girl or a boy." But then I remind myself that knowing the sex really doesn't change anything for us. It would not change any plans.
"Why would you want to keep it a surprise?
My Answer - It's like Christmas as a child...you are dying to find out what Santa's bringing you, and then on Christmas morning when you see the gifts you are overcome with excitement! There are very few times in life when you really get to experience a wonderful surprise. Why peak and unwrap the gifts early?
"How do you prepare for the baby if you do not know the sex? What do you buy?"
My answer - Most things that are necessary for baby (such as a carseat, place to sleep, and some basic clothes) are found in gender-neutral colors. We purchased grey/yellow carseat/gear for our first baby which worked for either sex. I like to keep my newborns in pajamas and onesies for most of the first couple of months anyway, and those are easy to find in white, yellow, green, etc. You can always decorate your nursery after the baby comes if you prefer. Last time I checked, there is no shortage of clothing for babies in the stores...it will all be waiting for you once your baby is born. I also shop at yard sales and thrift stores - then you can get some really good deals on clothes.
"People won't know what to buy you for your baby shower if they don't know if it's a boy or girl."
My response - I actually got a lot of very useful stuff for my baby shower! Yes, it's true, I did NOT get a plethora of size newborn adorable clothing, but I did get a ton of stuff I actually needed. I got a stroller, a playplace, baby monitors, diapers, shampoo, bumbo seat, just to name a few. Once my baby was born we got a lot of clothing from friends and family, which was really nice. I also know a lot of people have a baby shower AFTER the baby is born. It's a nice way to introduce the little one to friends and family and know the sex of the baby for shopping purposes.
"What are the advantages to not finding out?"
My answer - First of all, nothing is 100% accurate. I still hear stories about babies that end up being the opposite sex than what they were predicted to be. Second - people love buying baby clothes. But what happens sometimes is that moms end up with a ton of adorable newborn outfits that baby may or may not even get to wear, but you don't get a lot of the necessities, like diapers. Third - it's an amazing surprise. I can't emphasize that enough. Fourth - Some people (especially those on their second/third/fourth babies) are hoping for a specific sex. I've had a few moms tell me that they were slightly disappointed when they found out they were not having the sex they'd hoped for. Then they feel guilty for feeling disappointed. Why spend the pregnancy with these feelings? Once your baby is born, the sex won't seem like a big deal.
So that's my take on it! If you choose to find out the sex of the baby, that's wonderful. But I also think NOT finding out can be an amazing experience.
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